More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
