Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
