I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize