You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
