now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
