You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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