dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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