I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
