so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
