Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
