Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
