Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
