ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
