I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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