Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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