Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
