Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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