you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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