I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
