I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
