On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
