We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
