I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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