Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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