I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
