she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
