Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
