My room smells like vodka and shame
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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