oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
