im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
