so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I deserve this hangover.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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