I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize