The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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