4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
