I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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