im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
