another moral hangover. fuck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
