Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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