Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
