their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
