margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I wish I only lived at night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
