There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
