butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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