You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
