My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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