did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
