smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
now i know why i became what i already was.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize