I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
