That's intense
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
