we have pet lesbian snakes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize