I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
