Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Randomize
