and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
