Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
