On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
