Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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