Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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