what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
