no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
