You just made me feel so damn special
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
