you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
