I looked at my own cervix.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
