That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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